Lost Art

Here’s how I’m connected with friends, family, neighbors, and whatnot:

MySpace.Com
Friendster.Com
2 Yahoo emails
Hotmail account
BlogSpot
Cell phone
Work Phone
Work E-mail

With so many ways I’m connected I can’t help but feel the exact opposite. When did joining a social networking site ever created meaningful relationships and deep connections? If anything it’s just a way to see who’s dating who, self promotion and endless barrage of advertising. I’m definitely preaching to the choir here but honestly, do you remember the last time you ever received a post card or a love letter through good old USPS? Me neither.

About a month ago, Sahar and I were at Santa Cruz walking along the beach and we saw this guy selling these adorable puppies. I seriously thought about getting one so we exchanged numbers. After sleeping on it, I decided that maybe a bull dog that can get as heavy as 70 lbs might not be the best dog for me. How will I ever carry a dog that’s close to 70% of my body weight? Good for cuddling though! So I called the guy and told him that I opted not to get one at this time. A day later he texts me back and asked me out on a date. Mind you, this guy called me 3 times the day before trying to convince me to get one of the puppies. He’s established that he’s capable of calling and making conversations over the phone but yet when it was time for him to ask me out, he did it over text. Lame! Don’t get me wrong, I am definitely textually active :) Call me old fashion but what ever happened to picking up the phone, quickly setting it down, dialing the numbers half way only to chicken out and hang up again and after ½ hour of internal conflict you finally commit to calling the person to ask them out over a normal conversation. Now a days my cell phone, has unlimited texting capabilities while my talking minutes is down to 300 minutes per month!

Natural Bridges, Santa Cruz

Wouldn't you want one too?

In the spirit of Halloween, go out there and make your connections. Ask out that person you’ve been eyeing from across the room to go out with you. Be bold! I will try my best to do the same and connect the good old fashion way.

Here's a couple of old pics of me dressed up as a duck a few years ago...HIGHLARIOUS!!!

One of these girls is not like the other, Three of These Girls Belong Together"; which one is different, do you know?" (Sesame Street)

jakey

Change is Constant

Each day the sun rises
but this too must set
The moon comes out at night
but vanishes in the morning

The tide ebbs and flows
hours passes by unnoticed
Days turn into nights
only to be awaken again

Falling in and out of love
Some unrequited, others fully expressed
The cycle perpetuates. All is well.
Everything is fine, not final.

jakey

Joshua Bell

Building from my last blog about not having any expectations, I went into the weekend with no preconceived notions of how it will be or how I would like it to be. I went out clubbing with Vannessa and her friends to Slide, SF for the first time. I have not gone out clubbing in such a long time that it almost felt like I was out of my element. Prior to hitting the club, we stopped by the Clift Hotel and had a pre-party which meant, that one would have to consume as much alcohol as they can in a short amount of time. Fresh from my recent hang over fiasco, I stuck to one drink and nursed it. The double shot of vodka that was handed over to me right before walking out the door was left untouched. Walked over to Slide around 11ish and danced my little heart out. Proves that "You can take the girl away from the club but you can't take the club away from the girl". I had so much fun that night and I met a pretty cool kid.

Before the make under

After I danced my little heart out

Then on Saturday, my most awaited Symphony concert transpired. Joshua Bell played the violin and swept me off my feet. I paid for an upgraded, full seat but I was on the edge the whole time. Hmm, I wonder if I can get reimbursed for the other half of my seat? :) All kidding aside, my spirit was definitely lifted. He only played 2 pieces but that's all I needed to hear because I am now a lifetime Joshua Bell groupie(http://www.joshuabell.com/). Here's a picture of him and I taken by Snow Ball.

Why the cheesy @ss grin from the both of us? Well, that is a very hilarious story. I walked into Symphony Hall and walked out of a Comedy Club. My dear friend Sahar was my date for the evening. She and I have a history of always having a fan-freakin-tastic time whatever we do. She definitely made the night into a comedy of error and I love her for it. So after the concert, there was a meet and greet with Joshua hence the picture. Sahar has always had a problem operating my camera, yes very baffling! So we were standing in line gushing over Joshua and I had her practice taking picture just to make sure she gets it right. It was successful for the most part. She was able to take the pictures, no problem.



We finally got to the front of the line and all it took was for Joshua to look up, smile and Sahar lost all sense of reason. I shook his hand and handed him the CD I purchased for him to sign, all the while waiting for Sahar to take the picture. Then Joshua asked me to go behind the table to sit on his lap and tell him my deepest darkest desire…Oh wait, what? Was I just thinking out loud? Ha ha ha!

So I stood next to Joshua and we're both looking at Sahar who was now frantically shaking because she couldn't figure out why the camera wasn't working. Mind you, there were hundreds of people behind us waiting for their chance to schmooze with Joshua and by this time it had been close to 2 minutes that we've been terrorizing his time. You're only supposed to get 45 seconds max. I casually reached over to turn the camera on for her and the guy behind us made a comment like "And to think she practiced for 5 minutes!" LMAO! By this time, Joshua and I were laughing hysterically watching Sahar fumble with the camera for another 30seconds. It seemed like an eternity and finally we saw the light bulb flash. Whew! Notice that there are two flashes behind us. We were obviously very entertaining that this other guy took a picture of us as well.

Sahar was so nervous meeting him that this was the best picture that I could take. HIGHLARIOUS!!! I love you Sahar and I look forward to many more memorable, stomach achingly funny, good times with you.



I had a really good weekend and it ended on a positive note. Go Phillies!

jakey

Expectations

There are different kinds of learners. There are ones that can learn through observation, others through osmosis and then there are the less fortunate ones that only learn the hard way. Yes, I'm the latter. Many times in the past and even in recent history, was I forced to lower my expectations of people or remove it entirely. I have found out the hard way over and over again that it's a crazy notion to have expectations of others because I was only setting myself up to a big disappointment in the end. I have placed expectations on people only to find myself heart broken, resentful and despondent.

Of course there are times when expectations have to be established such as in a workplace. I am getting paid to work therefore the company expects me to produce results. The same goes for when I was a student. A professor gives out an assignment and he or she expects me to turn in the homework in the timeframe given. That's a realistic expectation.

The kind of expectation that I'm talking about is the kind that I unrealistically put on other people. And when they don't show up exactly the way I expected them to do, I got stir crazy and bent out of shape. Whose fault was it in the first place? Yes, you guessed it, me.

According to Webster dictionary "expectation" means to anticipate as likely or deserving; the hope for good. See, there lays the problem. Each and every one of us has a different idea of what we think we deserve or what we think is good. What I think I deserve might be on the other end of the spectrum as someone else's. So, the moral here is to not have any expectations of anyone because then you will find yourself pleasantly surprise when the other person pulls through based on their own merit.

Having adapted this new way of thinking I find myself being able to sit back and see people I know more objectively rather than replaying the laundry list in my head of all their shortcomings. I am free of silly expectations. This might seem pessimistic to not expect anything from anyone but it is my belief that if I don't give anyone a reason to disappoint me, then I won't be. Instead, I will hope for the best and if things don't work out quite the way I would have liked it to be then I am better equipped to brush it off and move on. My world will not be devastated because so and so did not live up to my expectation. I am capable of altering my plans at the drop of a dime and that is pretty liberating.

Easier said than done, right? Yes, but try it on for size. It's amazing how much better you will feel about yourself. I am still working on this as we speak but as I have said many times over, I never strive to be better than everyone else only better than I was.


jakey

Lone

Feigning sensitivity
I see right through you
Misguided intentions
You have many

Of life you speak of
Through someone else's eyes
Taking credit for the
Words of wisdom spoken

Lacking substance
Replaced with false bravado
Altering truth to your liking
You lose in the end

Living in the shadows
Of what you could be
Opting to steal dreams instead
A parasite you will become

How does one reconcile
To another one lost
In the end
I am better off alone

jakey

Charismatic Tomorrow

This morning I rose early in tune with the sun. It was brilliance - but the shades were the same, the sky was the same, and the birds, my usual wake-up call, were in song. In fact, the birds chirped a lullaby. Very rich in tune, with an echoing purity. All along it had just been a song - no more than a mere sound to awaken me. The sun was no more than a glow that interrupted the dark through the curtains - another signal to welcome day. The sky struggled to reveal itself behind the chain of clouds, but it managed to break through to allow the light to shine on me. Not in recent memory can I recall being struck breathless at the miracle of day. I stood out front covered by a blanket - not so much for warmth, but this need to grasp onto something, which somehow gave me strength. The moment and all its contents became mine. For a brief eternity, this world - the sun, the sky, the whistling birds, howling winds, and darkness was waiting on my next step, hanging on my every word, and eagerly anticipating my every thought. My next step carried great consequence and I was not afraid of the magnitude. Solitude never brought me solidarity before, but 'alone' is no longer the corner to drown my fears and dodge the demons. Rather it is this immovable rock - the deep breath to compose my thoughts and guide my actions. The trees began to wrestle, and dirt proceeded to fly. I shielded my path with the blanket as the shine of light was over-powered by the clouds which faded to a blurred charcoal gray. The birds fled with the bellowing thunder interrupting the song, as subsequent tears from the sky worked its way to hail. Still, despite the rage, the sight was breathtaking -- it had never actually been a sight before; it was more of an obstacle, a hindrance -- just like the sun had never shone brilliance for it was merely light and the birds never composed a lullaby for it was merely their words. Or perhaps it is more like I have finally taken my breath of life.

The storm cleared, as did the clouds. The sun's light now placed its shine throughout the grounds, and a brilliant spectrum spangled the sky. Strange was not that I stood at the beginning of the rainbow, but that my shadow, which I could actually see, was standing at the end of it.


jakey