Unlocked

I've been single for a little over 2 years now. This is a new record. Thinking back to my previous relationships, it certainly was pleasant to have someone around to tell me what I wanted to hear about myself, to kiss me goodnight and someone I could call and complain to. It was nice to not have to confront my shyness about meeting boys. I was always spoken for.

After my last boyfriend, I took a sabbatical from anything remotely close to resembling a relationship. I went as far as moving back in with my mom after 10 years to guarantee the no-dating policy that I had set up for myself. I took the time off to get back to the most important part of any thriving relationship - ME. I worked on developing a deeper awareness of who I am. What makes me tick, my motivations, apprehensions, fears and loves. I finally learned the lesson of not being able to give what you don't have.

I detached myself from social settings. There was even a point when I did not return any phone calls. My voicemail might as well have said "Hi. This is Jake and I'll be away from my phone forever. Your e-mails will be moved to SPAM and I will BLOCK you if you try to add me to your FaceSpace, Twixter, and MyBookMeetup social networking site. Thank you and have a good life."

The road I set on was not paved with lace and gold. In fact it was a dirt road full of puddles and blind corners. There were times when I found myself knee deep in mud, drenched in tears and all I can do was to crawl myself out of the hole that I unconsciously dug for myself. The blind corners were unforgiving. Just as I got my stride, I was struck with a punching bag full of heart aches and misguided emotions. I found myself asking questions like - What went wrong? Did I say something bad? Did my hair go flat? :)

I no longer wanted the next best thing. Moving from one high to the next was never the answer. It was just a distraction from the underlying issue at hand. And so I committed to work on my own happiness independently. It wasn't about finding myself. I was never lost. I just needed to get in touch with the inner wisdom that we all possess but too afraid to listen to, in fear of facing our insecurities or revealing whatever skeletons we have hiding in our own private walk-in closet the size of a studio apartment in Hayes Valley :)

I pick-and-choose who to interact with and when to interact with them as long as it served my mood and who I was being on that occassion. The result I got was exactly what I wanted. Nobody bothered me. I was so consumed with cultivating the little Jedi inside of me that I became unfulfilled, uninspired and worse uninspiring.

A definition for the word inspire is: to breathe life into another and I gave up the chance to do that for others.

Then I realized that whatever I was doing was counter intuitive to my ultimate goal; to be able to share my experiences, to spread the attitude of gratitude to those around me and to be open to the possibilities of real love.

Did you know that the Greeks have 4 different words for Love? That's not fair! I think we all deserve to have a way to say "I really love chocolate" and "I really love my Mom" without bringing my Mom into my world of dazed and crazed chocolatey goodness obssession :)

Eros: passionate love
Philia: friendship
Storge: parent-child

and my favorite...

Agape: an all inclusive unconditional love. To have agape is to see all people doing the best they can with the light they've got. Someone in this state is not looking for a return on the investment. In fact they don't see it as an investment at all. This is compassion at its best.

There are many different ways to get from point A to B. I can fly, drive, walk or even ride a horse. Being the inhabitant of the modern world, I sometimes think that the fastest route is the best one. I forget that "the journey is the destination". If I don't enjoy the travelling, it is unlikely that I will feel good about the place I arrive at. And so I commited to not take the most expedient route rather the most rewarding one.

So I surrendered to the great unknown . I've had my nose in the books long enough and crammed as much theory as I possibly can in my head. I am a power house of information, ready and willing to apply everything that I have forged in my mind. This new perspective that I have about life is a breath of fresh air.

Thankfully, the Universe/God/Source responded in kind. I've been meeting people from all walks of life and having a wonderful time with all the sweet encounters I've been experiencing even if its limited to dance, music, a bottle of champagne here and there or an afternoon at the beach.

Altogether it was what I hoped to achieve on this journey. I finally got in touch with the little warrior inside of me who's been fighting off the unwanted little bits as well. To dissolve some worries and get a lot closer to Agape.

Crushes have been tossed around like hot banana pancakes since late winter. Connections were made, love was sent out, rejections were experienced as well as romance. The beginning of summer is upon us. I witnessed love in so many ways on all levels. Friends, acquaintances and family have all shown their affectionate gestures. I've been wowed by Nature repeatedly.

I am human. I make mistakes, sometimes twice, three times even because of my obstinant nature. But I also learn. To become better than I once was.

So when you're out there this season, making connections, giving out high-fives, look to others with welcoming gratitude and appreciation, and see them as doing the best they can with the light they've got. And maybe toss out a smile.

So what about being single? I guess I'm no longer single.

I am Agape.

Row, row, row your boat

Gently down the stream

Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily

Life is but a dream...

What! No pictures?

My camera suffered an untimely death in the Philippines. The humidity was too much for its delicate nature and apparently it doesn't like getting wet either :)

I am now at the mercy of whoever was able to capture the moment to send me pictures. This past weekend, I did a small Hula and Tahitian show at the studio. There were pictures taken and videos as well but I have to join Facebook in order to see them...SIGH... the social networking gods are conspiring! Want to practice compassion and loan me your FaceSpace log-ins? :)

It's only Thursday. You didn't miss anything. It is I who miss you.

jakey

TGIF?

Nope...

S.H.I.T. - Sorry Honey It's Thursday :)

Question of the day:

Twat r u Twittering About?

Huh?

Yes, I've been asked numerous times to join Twitter and post random things that I'm doing throughout the day. Quotes, jokes, pictures or what not.

Now, why would I want to do that?

I decline the request, as there is already a posting in progress. I like the unlimited words that I can type on my very own blog. I like watching and hearing my my nails as they work the keyboard like it's a miniature dance-dance revolution. Yeah! Besides, I don't have enough steam to send comments into the great unknown.

I’ll stick to blogging where I'm afforded more characters.
And character.
My hands says Thumbs Up.
Time to dance.

Great, now I’m typing like a twit.



Jakey

Jetlagging...

Two weeks later...

The bumps on the head, the bruises on the arms, the international hang over is Finally out of the way.

The first week after I got back from my trip was the worst! I was literally walking into walls hence the bumps and bruises and I woke up everyday feeling like I've been bingeing on some really cheap alcohol.

Jetlag factoid:

The condition is not linked to the length of flight, but to the transmeridian (east-west) distance traveled. A ten-hour flight from Europe to southern Africa does not cause jet lag, as travel is primarily north-south. A five hour flight from the west to the east coast of the United States may well result in jet lag.

Crossing the International Date Line does not contribute to jet lag, as the guide for calculating jet lag is the number of time zones crossed, and the maximum possible disruption is plus or minus twelve hours.

So what have I been up to in the meantime? The usual - work, dance, meditation and some pretty fun girls time.

Vacations are done and we're all back in town. Friday night's entertainment was at the Opera to see Tosca.

First stop...

Adult watering hole - Absinthe

Prior to the show, Tanya and I stopped at Absinthe and each had a cocktail that was guaranteed to grow us some chest hair...ha ha ha!

It took the bar tender 5 minutes to make our drinks and we finished it in 2 minutes. It was Friday, I had a long week of jetlagging and the Sacred Heart was exactly what I needed...Yum!

Sacred Heart Cocktail is made with Tequila, Absinthe, Limoncello and a non-listed secret ingredient called "Crack" because this drink is SOOO good you can't just have one :)

Warm and fuzzy, we made our way to the Opera to meet up with two other hotties (Dee & Azmeera)

Tosca is a story of cheating and doubt. Nothing seems honest and direct: even love is troubled by jealousy. Cavaradossi's torture forces Tosca, not himself, to confess. Scarpia is killed with a table knife by "sweet and innocent" hands. And even the marginal characters like the sacristan and the prison guard lie or act dishonestly. At least Angelotti seems a direct, idealistic figure, but he takes a woman's disguise when he goes to his hiding place in a fake well... The inappropriate use of objects and situations is used systematically to create a suffocating atmosphere of doubt and suspicion. Even something as definitive as Mario's death is just a "faked simulation" and causes joy and relief to Tosca.

Pretty heavy stuff right? Now you know why I needed a drink beforehand, during intermission and especially after the tragic ending :)

If there's any humor in the Opera, it would be the fact that the main character, Tosca, referred to herself in third person. We all had a good laugh about that throughout the evening.

After the show, we were all supposed to go to the Supper Club

- in my Tosca character...

Jake does not feel like going to the Supper Club and get pregnant from behind by some jerk who gets cheap thrills from booty bumping...Nope, Jake does not like that...lol!

So we all went to Sugar Cafe lounge instead and polished off 3 bottles of Champagne. I'm beginning to think that these hotties are going to be the death of me...At least I'll die happy :)

Round One...

Round 2...

Round 3

Funniest line of the evening...

"Nice legs, what time do they open?" lol!

"Blame it on the A a a a a alcohol..." Was what Tanya and I were singing the following morning with our heads buzzing, our ears ringing, our bodies crying "Dear Jesus, Please help us get through the day!..." ha ha ha!

Saturday:

I went to my very first Persian wedding. Wow! I have never seen so much Dior, Prada, Gucci and Chanel on one person! ha ha ha!

When Snowball told me that Persian weddings are really fancy and women really go out of their way to look their best I had no idea what I was in for. I felt like I walked in to a movie premier. The ladies were all dressed to the nines. I've never felt so under dressed in my life. I'm normally the schmuck that overdresses, but not this time around. In a way it was kind of cool because I just blended into the background. A wallflower if you will and I enjoyed it. I was happily admiring all the ladies showing each other off. I can certainly appreciate the time and the effort that those ladies had put in to looking their best but not to be the party pooper or anything but I'd hate to be the one to steal the thunder from the bride!

Sunday:

Sunday was my last symphony concert for the season. It was more like chamber music, smaller in scale which was a nice change from a full orchestra. The composers featured for the evening was Schubert and Schumann. The program consisted of several Allegro pieces which I like very much.

Allegro: The musical tempo meaning quick, lively or, literally, "happy"

The next season starts again in the Fall. I am SOOOO looking forward to it. There's going to be some really amazing conductors and musicians alike that are coming to Davies Symphony. The Opera is going to be just as exciting (Valkyrie, Othello, Faust...Yeay!!!)

It's nice to get the summer off from the Symphony and the Opera though. It gets overwhelming at times especially when I have back to back shows such as the weekend that just passed.

After the concert, the usual suspects and I met up at my second home. Yup, the favorite wine bar. It was one of our guy friend's birthday. I met him late last year at the very same bar.

Story time:

We were at a bbq picnic once with a group of people and I was having a conversation with him while I was sitting on a blanket and him standing over me. I then asked him to sit down because he was making me nervous and he casually said.. "My pants are so tight, I can't sit down properly"....LMAO! He's European :)

Tanya was so excited to see us since it's been about 2 hours since we all saw each other last (a total exaggeration of course!) That she almost burned the place down!!!!

She walked in to the back room, set her coat down inadvertently "over" the candle that was sitting on the table. We all walked away to get ourselves another round. A few minutes later, Chris, the bartender casually asked, "Who tried to burn the place down?"

OMG! Heck and damnation!!! Not a moment too soon after the query, we all smelled the death of Tanya's coat :(

Luckily the "B" lives to burn down another day...whew!

Touch, move, inspire someone today...Smile,

Jakey