Expectations

There are different kinds of learners. There are ones that can learn through observation, others through osmosis and then there are the less fortunate ones that only learn the hard way. Yes, I'm the latter. Many times in the past and even in recent history, was I forced to lower my expectations of people or remove it entirely. I have found out the hard way over and over again that it's a crazy notion to have expectations of others because I was only setting myself up to a big disappointment in the end. I have placed expectations on people only to find myself heart broken, resentful and despondent.

Of course there are times when expectations have to be established such as in a workplace. I am getting paid to work therefore the company expects me to produce results. The same goes for when I was a student. A professor gives out an assignment and he or she expects me to turn in the homework in the timeframe given. That's a realistic expectation.

The kind of expectation that I'm talking about is the kind that I unrealistically put on other people. And when they don't show up exactly the way I expected them to do, I got stir crazy and bent out of shape. Whose fault was it in the first place? Yes, you guessed it, me.

According to Webster dictionary "expectation" means to anticipate as likely or deserving; the hope for good. See, there lays the problem. Each and every one of us has a different idea of what we think we deserve or what we think is good. What I think I deserve might be on the other end of the spectrum as someone else's. So, the moral here is to not have any expectations of anyone because then you will find yourself pleasantly surprise when the other person pulls through based on their own merit.

Having adapted this new way of thinking I find myself being able to sit back and see people I know more objectively rather than replaying the laundry list in my head of all their shortcomings. I am free of silly expectations. This might seem pessimistic to not expect anything from anyone but it is my belief that if I don't give anyone a reason to disappoint me, then I won't be. Instead, I will hope for the best and if things don't work out quite the way I would have liked it to be then I am better equipped to brush it off and move on. My world will not be devastated because so and so did not live up to my expectation. I am capable of altering my plans at the drop of a dime and that is pretty liberating.

Easier said than done, right? Yes, but try it on for size. It's amazing how much better you will feel about yourself. I am still working on this as we speak but as I have said many times over, I never strive to be better than everyone else only better than I was.


jakey