According to Lonely Planet: (pop. 1)
Splitsville Resort is where people go to recover from unexpected break-ups. It is a place of catharsis. Kind of like an inside-out spa experience. It's a place where you can purge all the bad emotions and sadness. You come lonely but you leave happy. It's a place where you really only want to visit once and the shorter you stay the better, but everyone is different with their timing.
So, I checked in to Splitsville Resort a few weeks ago. Splitsville is not your typical get away resort. It doesn't offer any amenities. In fact, you don't even get to pack for this trip. You get sent there with only the clothes on your back and your wits if you were lucky enough to have brought it with you. Unfortunately for me, I only had my clothes. I remember waking up that fateful morning and did my usual hike/run. It was an unusually warm and sunny day. There was a skip to my step and a happy tune in my head. Little did I know that the next few days would be pretty gloomy.
You see, this is the first time I have ever been sent to Splitsville so I had no idea what to expect. I'm normally the one sending people there. But let me tell you, I will think THRICE before I send anyone there from this day forward. If I ever find myself visiting again in the future, I know that I will be better equipped to handle myself. I know what to expect and will most likely stay for a shorter period of time.
My first three days in Splitsville was the worst. The bed had nails on it so I didn't sleep. Food was repulsive, so I didn't eat. My heart was in a million little pieces scattered all about. To top it off, I had the Indy500 of question marks ????? doing laps in my head all day long! It has been estimated that an average person has sixty thousand separate thoughts each and every day. The problem was that I had the same sixty thousand questions and thoughts from the day before which carried on to the next day and the day after that. That's enough to drive one absolutely bizerk!
So being that Splitsville Resort is not your typical relaxing and convenient get away spot, you have to check out everyday for 8 hours or so to go back to Realityville aka Work. That was tough. It was emotionally, physically and mentally draining to carry around the baggage with you everywhere you go. I didn't want to go anywhere. I wanted to stay as stationary as possible but I had to suck it up. Another problem with leaving Splitsville is that you walk around with this ultra sensitive sprinkler system. Anything can trigger it - a sight, sound or smell can turn on the water works. It doesn't matter if you're sitting in front of your computer by yourself or in a roomful of people at a coffee shop, it will just set off on its own. Can you just imagine the sheer horror of the sprinkler going off every 5 minutes or so? My only saving grace after work was that I got to spend time with a fellow Splitsvillager who had been to the resort once. She offered words of comfort and encouragement to make my stay there as short as possible.
She did mention that everyone should visit Splitsville Resort at least once in their lifetime. That is the only way to really understand and fully appreciate what it's like to be on the other side. In return this will create more awareness, mindfulness and compassion. I couldn't agree more! As hard as it was for me to be there, I think we could all use a little bit more lesson in compassion. There's not enough of it but I can certainly start with myself.
This went on for a couple more days. By the end of my first week of stay, I noticed that sleep came and visited me for 3-4 hours in the evening and food was slowly starting to look palatable again. My jaundiced skin was starting to regain its color. Puke green never looks good on anyone :) I pretty much have gathered all the broken bits of my heart and it's well on its way to recovery. In fact, I was feeling somewhat social again that I managed to actually get somewhat dolled up and went to a beer-food tasting party (See Magnolia vs. Dogfish Head).
By the second week, I started to find activities that kept me away from Splitsville Resort longer. I was either at a dance studio practicing Hula, in the gym spending time with Precore or at a Wine Bar somewhere in Palo Alto which by the way deserves its own blog later on.
The evenings are tough because that's when I found myself checking back in to Splitsville. However, the time I spent there was actually getting better. The Indy500 has finally left town, my mind was quieting and I was finally able to start writing coherently again. I was able to enter the sixty thousand thoughts and find silence in between the gaps. In this sliver of silence, I was able to find a sense of peace. When I do find myself in the state of "in-between" that's when the confusion goes away, my mind listens to what's going on in my body and for a brief moment, I am at a place of well-being. In silence, I was able to face my fear and sit with it. Acknowledge that it's there and work my way through it.
I checked out of Splitsville Resort last night. I knew I had to go. I have used up my welcome card. I don't need to stay there any longer than I have already. My heart is back in one piece with some scar tissue but I know that someday soon it will be back doing it's hand-stands again. My mind is a power house of information, ready to sift through the events of the past few months and learn the lessons that had to be learned. I have come to a place of acceptance. Happiness is a state of mind. I choose to be deliriously happy. I choose to have a different experience. I choose to continue my path to learn, to grow and to become better than I once was. I choose to experience life to its fullest. I get one shot here so I want to make the best of it.
As for the person who gave me the roundtrip ticket to Splitsville Resort? He'll always have a soft spot in my heart. I'm beginning to understand why we had to meet but I will keep that privy to myself for now. I wish him the same things I wish for myself and others around me. To find peace, happiness and true love.
"The falls of our life provide us with the energy to propel ourselves to higher levels"
Dr. Wayne Dyer
Ready...Set...Go...
In Spirit,
Jake
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