I cannot help but disagree with this quote but the more I sit with it, I find that the notion is growing on me. I have had the opportunity to exchange winks and share smiles with a certain someone of late. Throw in friends, family and job into the mix, then we are left with just that - moments.
Yet, a bigger part of me still believes in the security that companionship offers. It has been a while since I've felt the comfort of being in a steady and committed relationship. The kind where you can breathe out a sigh of relief because no matter how bad of a day you're having, he will be there by your side. Long after the courtship is said and done, you can both relax and know that you are loved. When you can rest assure that the other shoe will not drop. When you can call him any time of the day to say hello and see how their day is going. It's all the little things that a relationship offers.
Even with the last relationship I had, we never really reached that point of comfort. We were still guarded and the calls were limited to emergencies or finalizing weekend plans. I miss dialing for no reason at all but to hear his voice smiling on the other line. I miss not having to face my fear even if its only a figment. I miss sharing the day to day nuances of life and to go home to a warm embrace. I miss the lazy Sunday afternoons of holding each other and falling asleep.
Yes bloggies, the whole dating scene is wearing on me. I have met some out of this world D-bags. Someday, I will write about it. I'll share my dating stories and the liars that I've come across which is downright hilarious in retrospect.
Despite it all, God, Universe, Venus, Gravity have always responded in kind and kept me out of trouble. Characters revealed themselves, secrets unveiled, intentions were known while I safely held on to my heart. I put myself out there, therefore I have to be prepared for the risk of getting my heart broken. I used to be bolder in my risk taking. These days, my heart is just a little bit farther up my sleeve.
And yet all is fine, not Final.
Someday, the dating game will transform to the kind of game that doesn't require an overnight bag or sleepover. Replaced with personal comfort in being home and enjoying in-person the relationship I have with a special man.
For now, I rest my case.
He rests his.
May the rest of your week be full of Best Days Ever,
Jakey
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