The Other Side of Someday...

I started Yoga again a few short weeks ago and now I wonder why I ever stopped. Maybe because I needed a break from the routine or my constant moving about has left me with little to no energy. I haven't stayed long enough in one place to plant my feet on the ground. From my mid 20's up to now, I've moved about 4-5 times. That's a moving rate of every 2 years or so. I can say though that the move here to the City has been the best one yet. I finally feel like I can stick around and really build a life here. At least that's how I feel right at this moment.

Tuesday's yoga session became an hour long of purging. I cried almost all the way through. The class always starts with meditation. The theme was the heart. It was almost as if, the instructor knew exactly what I needed. He had us meditate on sending out loving, forgiving and compassionate energy. This practice is called meta meditation. First he had us focus on someone we really love and send that person an abundance of loving thoughts. Second was to send forgiveness to a person who has hurt us the most in the past. Last was the combination of the first two plus compassion and this was to be given to ourselves. Thanks to the ambient lighting, constantly closed eyes and the recent added bangs that one can hardly tell that I was weeping my heart out.

I've been on a non-stop whirlwind ride for the past couple of months that I hardly have any time to sit down and process. I'm occupied and surrounded with people I love and doing things that I feel passionately about that I neglect to get in touch with myself to re-group. When I fail to write on my journal or express myself through this medium of communication, I feel somewhat disconnected.

My volunteer efforts is finally coming into fruition. I have picked my cause and committed to it. My intention though is to have more people get involved and share my yen for volunteering. This will happen in time, I suppose. For now, I will continue to dedicate time and effort to my cause and hopefully move and inspire others to do so as well.

I also started dancing again. My first love. I'm starting off with a weekly hula class for now since I don't want to get overwhelmed like I did 3 years ago. That was sheer madness!

So why the tears? Because of late, I am becoming acutely aware of how much I want to have someone to share my passions with - outside of my friends and family. To hold my hand and be my pillar of strength when needed, as I will be to him. To walk through life with me and not worry about the other shoe dropping. To take comfort in the unknown, knowing that no matter what happens we will be there and be each other's number one cheerleader. To finally get off the Dating Unicycle I've been on for years. I want someone to be on the other side of my someday with me. No longer do I seek the next high nor am I waiting for the next best thing. To be in a committed relationship full of love, respect and common goal. A relationship where I know there's constant growth because we inspire each other to become better than we were. For the love that I sent that evening to be reciprocated. This is what the other side of my someday looks like.

My special someone of late would be a person I would want to share this with but he has his own passions and his own version of his someday. Our paths have crossed once but it didn't work out back then and we parted ways. Time passed and then one day out of the blue, he reached out and our paths have crossed once again. Will it continue to traverse together? Heaven only knows. My intentions are out there for the Universe, God and the Powers Be to heed. We'll have to see how it manifests. But as always, everything is fine, not final. The heart is malleable, the mind ever changing. Today I want comfort and security while tomorrow will bring a whole new set of emotions. Thank goodness for Chartreuse!

Signing off with a video of Tugboat being so freakin' adorable!





Bangs courtesy of my multi-talented bff, Lian





Namaste,
Jakey