The Butterfly Effect

In 1963, Edward Lorenz made a presentation to the New York Academy of Sciences and was literally laughed out of the room. His theory, called THE BUTTERFLY EFFECT, stated that a butterfly could flap its wings and set air molecules in motion that, in turn, would move other air molecules - which would then move additional air molecules - eventually becoming able to influence weather patterns on the other side of the planet. For years, this theory remained an interesting myth. In the mid 1990's, however, physics professors from several universities, working in tandem, proved that THE BUTTERFLY EFFECT was accurate, viable and worked every time.

Every single thing we do matters. We are uniquely created as one of a kind. We have more power and impact than we give ourselves credit for. It is our thoughts, speech, beliefs, actions and attitudes that we project onto the world that make it show up in a particular way. Much like the butterfly. It's simple act of flapping its wings create enough influence in the weather pattern to alter it.

Where have I been?

I've been traveling, experiencing, learning, growing, caring, loving. I'm creating a butterfly effect in the small corner of my world.

My Relationships are evolving to Creationship. I am discovering ways to create an even deeper understanding of those I hold dear to my heart. To be present and listen. After all wisdom is the reward you get for a lifetime of listening when you'd have preferred to talk. It is an ongoing process for which I will always be a student.

The vacation this year took me back to the Philippines. My mom was my travel buddy, my map, my savior, my voice of reason and the one who provided bottles of Gatorade when I got food poisoning. My angel disguised as a totally rad mom.

An all encompassing word I can use to sum up my adventure would be Humbled.

I didn't go to any tourist resort spots nor did I lavish myself with spa visits. The hair cut I got cost me $12. I brought one pair of flip-flops with me and wore it the whole time I was there.

This vacation was all about giving - time, resources, hugs, kisses, love, patience, understanding, compassion and empathy. My time there consisted of going back to the town where I grew up, met with childhood friends, visited the house I grew up in and shared what I had to give to the local orphanage.

I also participated in feeding the street children during Holy Week. A while ago, I wrote about the place where I grew up and how I lived in the outskirts of the slums. Not much has changed since I left. The town, though much cleaner is still poor by our standards. The kids played in the streets barefooted. Their parents eeked out a living by doing odds and end jobs just to feed the said kids for the day. I am humbled by the experience.

As my surroundings moved me, I reflected deeply on the fact that I am so blessed to have my friends, family, beloved, and a place where I can call home with a little dog who loves me unconditionally. The seed of compassion has been planted. Plans are in the works for me to do more.

I am Change, Changed and Creating Changes for a Better me, Better world.

Better get busy.

Street kids lined up to receive food -

This was my grandparents home. I spent about5 years of my life here before I left for the U.S . I was saddened to see the condition it is in now. It has been abandoned for many years. So many happy childhood memories were created here. From my first ballroom dancing lesson, to being chased around by my grandma with a broomstick because I was such a brat, lots of meals shared with my cousins, birthday parties and most especially memories of my Grandpa playing classical music in his old record player.

This little blogger grew up in this house. My memories here are not as happy as the ones from my grandparents home. I lived here until I was 6 years old.

This was the pre-school I went to. The room with the green curtain. I couldn't go in because it was closed when I visited. My mom used to drop me off every morning and at the end of the day, my cousin Joel would come pick me up and we'd walk home together. I was 5 years old (^_^)

Everyday, my uncle and I went to the market and got fresh vegetables, meat and seafood. It's probably one of the things that I missed the most from my visit. My Uncle is the family cook. He makes the best eggplant dishes!





There were mom & pop stores at just about every corner in our neighborhood. Whenever I would buy a soda, they would pour it into this plastic bag and stick a straw in it. So funny!!!




Hanging out with my Grandma.




My mom took me to this Chinese restaurant where she said she used to go to even before she was married! Walking in to the restaurant, we were greeted by all these exotic animals. I asked our waiter what the significance of having these animals inside the restaurant and apparently, the owners believed them to be auspicious. Who can argue with that when they've been around for over 40 years and it doesn't look like they are going anywhere anytime soon. The food there was probably the best Chinese food I have ever had in my life thus far.


Wild boar at the door. It's hair was very prickly and it was quite smelly :(









My Grandma's Birthday Party at Romulo's. This restaurant used to be the home of one of the Philippine's ex General, Diplomat and National Hero. It was a really cool space and the food was also pretty yummy :)


She turned 93 -




With my favorite cousin Joel and two out of his three daughters. Its so crazy to see him as a dad. We grew up together, got ourselves in huge troubles, boxed, made up, fought again and I can blame him for just about every single scar I have on my body.




Puppies!! They were soooo cute!




It has always been my mom's tradition to go to this one church in the Philippines every time she goes back to visit. She said that the patron saint of the church has always granted her deepest wishes and desire and she has yet to have her prayer unanswered.


Following my mom's footstep, I lit a candle and whispered my wish...




This was taken in Baguio City. I fell in love with this town. The weather was perfect, the people were so kind and friendly, it was lush and the churches were beautiful. I even suggested to my mom that she should live here once she retires and move back to the Philippines. I left a piece of my heart in this city.



The White Cross Orphanage - http://www.dot.com.ph/whitecross/

I was knee deep in daily chores from washing clothes by hand, preparing food, feeding, doing dishes and playing with the kids. I loved every moment I spent here. Though some of the tasks were physically taxing, I never felt tired. There'll be more about this later for I think my experience here deserves more than just a blurb. It deserves it's on web page...

I'm working on setting up a charity for the orphanage. I've done the initial paperwork already. I'm laying out the groundwork for changes to come, happen, transpire and grow beyond my wildest imagination.





This is JohnMark. He has a neurodevelopmental disorder.




Aside from being a loving dad, devoted husband and all around awesome person, my cousin Joel is also a magician on the side. He performed a magic show for the older kids during my last visit at the orphanage. I love you so much Joel. You are such an inspiration to me.




My heart is filled with little handprints, forever touched, deep love, embedded in my soul.

The act of compassion begins with full attention, just as rapport does. You have to really see the person. If you see the person, then naturally, empathy arises. If you tune into the other person, you feel with them. If empathy arises, and if that person is in dire need, then empathic concern can come. You want to help them, and then that begins a compassionate act. So I'd say that compassion begins with attention.
—Daniel Goleman

Complete pics here:

http://share.shutterfly.com/share/received/welcome.sfly?fid=cb791074fcb8d15e3315f89dbf2f35f7&sid=0MaMmTZy3Ys8o

In Spirit,
Jakey

On being once 32

32 was a pretty awesome year. I am in the flow more than ever…

Friendship and drinking, dancing and soaring, yoga and yawning, loving and sleeping...

I couldnt ask for anything else this year, it’s been such a blessing.

Thank you for being love, emulating love, sending love, and feeling love. Thank you for being YOU!

I loveee love love you!!!

More pics here:

https://picasaweb.google.com/zairina/JakeSBirthdayBBQParty?authkey=Gv1sRgCLej9OTNzJK4mQE&feat=email

birthday success,

jakey

Signs & Symptoms of Inner Peace

A tendency to think and act spontaneously rather than on fears based on past experiences
An unmistakable ability to enjoy each moment
A loss of interest in judging other people
A loss of interest in judging self
A loss of interest in interpreting the actions of others
A loss of interest in conflict
A loss of ability to worry
Frequent, overwhelming episodes of appreciation
Contented feelings of connectedness with others & nature
Frequent attacks of smiling
An increasing tendency to let things happen rather than make them happen
An increased susceptibility to love extended by others and the uncontrollable urge to extend it

In Joy,

Jakey

Love More... Seed Less

The other day I paid a $1.49 for gas

Holy shit snacks!

Where did I go to get it so cheap??!!!!

Taco Bell (^_^)

"a wise monkey is a monkey who doesn't monkey with another's monkey"- Sierra Leonean Proverb

A guy walks in the gym, talks to the personal trainer and asks him which "machine" he should use to get all the girls attention. Personal trainer looks around and pointed to the corner of the room. Guy scratches his head... But that's the "ATM machine".

Sometimes, you gotta laugh to keep from crying and such is the case from yours truly. It has been a roller coaster ride for Tugboat and I for the last week and a half. He has been in and out the hospital as well as on and off the operation table. Not to go into the ugly detail but it's basically a classic case of a hack veterinarian who did quite possibly the worst botched job ever!!!! I can't talk about it right now without the use of excessive expletives but upset, irritated and screaming bloody murder would be a gross understatement. I have been struggling with the guilt of not being able to do more for my dog. All I can do at this point is to make sure that I administer the pain meds and the antibiotics every 8 hours. He's out of the woods now and on his way to recovery but it has been a very rough ride.

You always hear people say that raising a dog is the best preparation before having kids. I am realizing more and more that if that is really the case then there's no way in hell I am fit to be a mom right now and/or heaven forbid raise one by myself! Being a single mom is NO BUENO!!!

Thank goodness for my amazing support system of friends and family for helping me pull through mentally and emotionally. I love you all SO SO much. As for me and Tugboat - the worst is over; healing is what takes time.

Brunch at Cliffhouse - yum!

If you can find a path with no obstacles, it probably doesn't lead anywhere. —Frank A. Clark

In Gratitude,

Jakey

All shades of Gray

When God sends rain, I choose rain
I hope your Gray day
Is a Hooray day

Gray is the new black
Or is it orange?
The sky is Gray
Let's have a field day


Last night, I went to my most favorite concert to date. My special someone and I saw David Gray for two blissful hours at the symphony hall. I have been listening to his music since college but never had the chance to see him live until now.

I LOVED every minute of it. With each heartbreaking, happy and hopeful song, he reached under my skin thus giving me goosebumps. I was on the edge of my seat half of the time. As if trying to get closer to this man who has written the soundtrack to my love life.

He sang one of my most favorite song during his encore and I wanted so much to jump out of my seat and scream to the universe and to him how much I love the song!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Eo-tp0JZvUA

I let out a big sigh after the song ended and looked to my left...


We're not here for a long time. We're here for a good time. Let go and enjoy ~

Jakey

I Choose To...

The most basic and powerful way to connect to another person is to listen. Just listen. Perhaps the most important thing we ever give each other is our attention.... A loving silence often has far more power to heal and to connect than the most well-intentioned words.
—Rachel Naomi Reme

Over the weekend, the special someone and I met up for some quality time at a cafe nearby and had a late lunch. We talked, laughed, made googly eyes at each other and connected in ways that we don't normally get to do all too often because we always find ourselves in the midst of a social setting that doesn't really allow us to talk much with each other. Whether at a bar, a brunch with friends, a loud restaurant or even at the end of the day when we are both depleted that silence is the only available form of communication.

Sitting in the cafe, late afternoon, sipping on tea, I looked around the room and noticed that every single person there was on their laptop. We were the only ones wirelessly disconnected yet we cannot be anymore connected.

I wish I took a picture of the scene. I almost felt uncomfortable. Like I didn't belong in this 'I'm too hip to talk to the person next to me' cafe. The ironic thing is that I bet more than a handful of them are on some type of a social networking site "connecting" with their friends.

Yes, I am old fashioned. I like connecting face to face. I love the feel of human touch. I am a bottomless resource of hugs. I gave my now boss a hug after my first interview - I got hired a day and a half later. I have a very impressive hug resume :)

Now, I'm not socially retarded that I walk around giving free hugs to just about anyone. I am selective too, but if you open up your arms to me and I feel comfortable enough with you, I will wrap my silly self around you and envelope you in a comforting embrace.

How I'm connected:

My Beloved Family

My community

My bestest girlfriends

My Special Someone

My foot warmer (^_^)

Connection Complete...

Jakey

The Other Side of Someday...

I started Yoga again a few short weeks ago and now I wonder why I ever stopped. Maybe because I needed a break from the routine or my constant moving about has left me with little to no energy. I haven't stayed long enough in one place to plant my feet on the ground. From my mid 20's up to now, I've moved about 4-5 times. That's a moving rate of every 2 years or so. I can say though that the move here to the City has been the best one yet. I finally feel like I can stick around and really build a life here. At least that's how I feel right at this moment.

Tuesday's yoga session became an hour long of purging. I cried almost all the way through. The class always starts with meditation. The theme was the heart. It was almost as if, the instructor knew exactly what I needed. He had us meditate on sending out loving, forgiving and compassionate energy. This practice is called meta meditation. First he had us focus on someone we really love and send that person an abundance of loving thoughts. Second was to send forgiveness to a person who has hurt us the most in the past. Last was the combination of the first two plus compassion and this was to be given to ourselves. Thanks to the ambient lighting, constantly closed eyes and the recent added bangs that one can hardly tell that I was weeping my heart out.

I've been on a non-stop whirlwind ride for the past couple of months that I hardly have any time to sit down and process. I'm occupied and surrounded with people I love and doing things that I feel passionately about that I neglect to get in touch with myself to re-group. When I fail to write on my journal or express myself through this medium of communication, I feel somewhat disconnected.

My volunteer efforts is finally coming into fruition. I have picked my cause and committed to it. My intention though is to have more people get involved and share my yen for volunteering. This will happen in time, I suppose. For now, I will continue to dedicate time and effort to my cause and hopefully move and inspire others to do so as well.

I also started dancing again. My first love. I'm starting off with a weekly hula class for now since I don't want to get overwhelmed like I did 3 years ago. That was sheer madness!

So why the tears? Because of late, I am becoming acutely aware of how much I want to have someone to share my passions with - outside of my friends and family. To hold my hand and be my pillar of strength when needed, as I will be to him. To walk through life with me and not worry about the other shoe dropping. To take comfort in the unknown, knowing that no matter what happens we will be there and be each other's number one cheerleader. To finally get off the Dating Unicycle I've been on for years. I want someone to be on the other side of my someday with me. No longer do I seek the next high nor am I waiting for the next best thing. To be in a committed relationship full of love, respect and common goal. A relationship where I know there's constant growth because we inspire each other to become better than we were. For the love that I sent that evening to be reciprocated. This is what the other side of my someday looks like.

My special someone of late would be a person I would want to share this with but he has his own passions and his own version of his someday. Our paths have crossed once but it didn't work out back then and we parted ways. Time passed and then one day out of the blue, he reached out and our paths have crossed once again. Will it continue to traverse together? Heaven only knows. My intentions are out there for the Universe, God and the Powers Be to heed. We'll have to see how it manifests. But as always, everything is fine, not final. The heart is malleable, the mind ever changing. Today I want comfort and security while tomorrow will bring a whole new set of emotions. Thank goodness for Chartreuse!

Signing off with a video of Tugboat being so freakin' adorable!





Bangs courtesy of my multi-talented bff, Lian





Namaste,
Jakey