Unlocked

I've been single for a little over 2 years now. This is a new record. Thinking back to my previous relationships, it certainly was pleasant to have someone around to tell me what I wanted to hear about myself, to kiss me goodnight and someone I could call and complain to. It was nice to not have to confront my shyness about meeting boys. I was always spoken for.

After my last boyfriend, I took a sabbatical from anything remotely close to resembling a relationship. I went as far as moving back in with my mom after 10 years to guarantee the no-dating policy that I had set up for myself. I took the time off to get back to the most important part of any thriving relationship - ME. I worked on developing a deeper awareness of who I am. What makes me tick, my motivations, apprehensions, fears and loves. I finally learned the lesson of not being able to give what you don't have.

I detached myself from social settings. There was even a point when I did not return any phone calls. My voicemail might as well have said "Hi. This is Jake and I'll be away from my phone forever. Your e-mails will be moved to SPAM and I will BLOCK you if you try to add me to your FaceSpace, Twixter, and MyBookMeetup social networking site. Thank you and have a good life."

The road I set on was not paved with lace and gold. In fact it was a dirt road full of puddles and blind corners. There were times when I found myself knee deep in mud, drenched in tears and all I can do was to crawl myself out of the hole that I unconsciously dug for myself. The blind corners were unforgiving. Just as I got my stride, I was struck with a punching bag full of heart aches and misguided emotions. I found myself asking questions like - What went wrong? Did I say something bad? Did my hair go flat? :)

I no longer wanted the next best thing. Moving from one high to the next was never the answer. It was just a distraction from the underlying issue at hand. And so I committed to work on my own happiness independently. It wasn't about finding myself. I was never lost. I just needed to get in touch with the inner wisdom that we all possess but too afraid to listen to, in fear of facing our insecurities or revealing whatever skeletons we have hiding in our own private walk-in closet the size of a studio apartment in Hayes Valley :)

I pick-and-choose who to interact with and when to interact with them as long as it served my mood and who I was being on that occassion. The result I got was exactly what I wanted. Nobody bothered me. I was so consumed with cultivating the little Jedi inside of me that I became unfulfilled, uninspired and worse uninspiring.

A definition for the word inspire is: to breathe life into another and I gave up the chance to do that for others.

Then I realized that whatever I was doing was counter intuitive to my ultimate goal; to be able to share my experiences, to spread the attitude of gratitude to those around me and to be open to the possibilities of real love.

Did you know that the Greeks have 4 different words for Love? That's not fair! I think we all deserve to have a way to say "I really love chocolate" and "I really love my Mom" without bringing my Mom into my world of dazed and crazed chocolatey goodness obssession :)

Eros: passionate love
Philia: friendship
Storge: parent-child

and my favorite...

Agape: an all inclusive unconditional love. To have agape is to see all people doing the best they can with the light they've got. Someone in this state is not looking for a return on the investment. In fact they don't see it as an investment at all. This is compassion at its best.

There are many different ways to get from point A to B. I can fly, drive, walk or even ride a horse. Being the inhabitant of the modern world, I sometimes think that the fastest route is the best one. I forget that "the journey is the destination". If I don't enjoy the travelling, it is unlikely that I will feel good about the place I arrive at. And so I commited to not take the most expedient route rather the most rewarding one.

So I surrendered to the great unknown . I've had my nose in the books long enough and crammed as much theory as I possibly can in my head. I am a power house of information, ready and willing to apply everything that I have forged in my mind. This new perspective that I have about life is a breath of fresh air.

Thankfully, the Universe/God/Source responded in kind. I've been meeting people from all walks of life and having a wonderful time with all the sweet encounters I've been experiencing even if its limited to dance, music, a bottle of champagne here and there or an afternoon at the beach.

Altogether it was what I hoped to achieve on this journey. I finally got in touch with the little warrior inside of me who's been fighting off the unwanted little bits as well. To dissolve some worries and get a lot closer to Agape.

Crushes have been tossed around like hot banana pancakes since late winter. Connections were made, love was sent out, rejections were experienced as well as romance. The beginning of summer is upon us. I witnessed love in so many ways on all levels. Friends, acquaintances and family have all shown their affectionate gestures. I've been wowed by Nature repeatedly.

I am human. I make mistakes, sometimes twice, three times even because of my obstinant nature. But I also learn. To become better than I once was.

So when you're out there this season, making connections, giving out high-fives, look to others with welcoming gratitude and appreciation, and see them as doing the best they can with the light they've got. And maybe toss out a smile.

So what about being single? I guess I'm no longer single.

I am Agape.

Row, row, row your boat

Gently down the stream

Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily

Life is but a dream...

What! No pictures?

My camera suffered an untimely death in the Philippines. The humidity was too much for its delicate nature and apparently it doesn't like getting wet either :)

I am now at the mercy of whoever was able to capture the moment to send me pictures. This past weekend, I did a small Hula and Tahitian show at the studio. There were pictures taken and videos as well but I have to join Facebook in order to see them...SIGH... the social networking gods are conspiring! Want to practice compassion and loan me your FaceSpace log-ins? :)

It's only Thursday. You didn't miss anything. It is I who miss you.

jakey

TGIF?

Nope...

S.H.I.T. - Sorry Honey It's Thursday :)

Question of the day:

Twat r u Twittering About?

Huh?

Yes, I've been asked numerous times to join Twitter and post random things that I'm doing throughout the day. Quotes, jokes, pictures or what not.

Now, why would I want to do that?

I decline the request, as there is already a posting in progress. I like the unlimited words that I can type on my very own blog. I like watching and hearing my my nails as they work the keyboard like it's a miniature dance-dance revolution. Yeah! Besides, I don't have enough steam to send comments into the great unknown.

I’ll stick to blogging where I'm afforded more characters.
And character.
My hands says Thumbs Up.
Time to dance.

Great, now I’m typing like a twit.



Jakey

Jetlagging...

Two weeks later...

The bumps on the head, the bruises on the arms, the international hang over is Finally out of the way.

The first week after I got back from my trip was the worst! I was literally walking into walls hence the bumps and bruises and I woke up everyday feeling like I've been bingeing on some really cheap alcohol.

Jetlag factoid:

The condition is not linked to the length of flight, but to the transmeridian (east-west) distance traveled. A ten-hour flight from Europe to southern Africa does not cause jet lag, as travel is primarily north-south. A five hour flight from the west to the east coast of the United States may well result in jet lag.

Crossing the International Date Line does not contribute to jet lag, as the guide for calculating jet lag is the number of time zones crossed, and the maximum possible disruption is plus or minus twelve hours.

So what have I been up to in the meantime? The usual - work, dance, meditation and some pretty fun girls time.

Vacations are done and we're all back in town. Friday night's entertainment was at the Opera to see Tosca.

First stop...

Adult watering hole - Absinthe

Prior to the show, Tanya and I stopped at Absinthe and each had a cocktail that was guaranteed to grow us some chest hair...ha ha ha!

It took the bar tender 5 minutes to make our drinks and we finished it in 2 minutes. It was Friday, I had a long week of jetlagging and the Sacred Heart was exactly what I needed...Yum!

Sacred Heart Cocktail is made with Tequila, Absinthe, Limoncello and a non-listed secret ingredient called "Crack" because this drink is SOOO good you can't just have one :)

Warm and fuzzy, we made our way to the Opera to meet up with two other hotties (Dee & Azmeera)

Tosca is a story of cheating and doubt. Nothing seems honest and direct: even love is troubled by jealousy. Cavaradossi's torture forces Tosca, not himself, to confess. Scarpia is killed with a table knife by "sweet and innocent" hands. And even the marginal characters like the sacristan and the prison guard lie or act dishonestly. At least Angelotti seems a direct, idealistic figure, but he takes a woman's disguise when he goes to his hiding place in a fake well... The inappropriate use of objects and situations is used systematically to create a suffocating atmosphere of doubt and suspicion. Even something as definitive as Mario's death is just a "faked simulation" and causes joy and relief to Tosca.

Pretty heavy stuff right? Now you know why I needed a drink beforehand, during intermission and especially after the tragic ending :)

If there's any humor in the Opera, it would be the fact that the main character, Tosca, referred to herself in third person. We all had a good laugh about that throughout the evening.

After the show, we were all supposed to go to the Supper Club

- in my Tosca character...

Jake does not feel like going to the Supper Club and get pregnant from behind by some jerk who gets cheap thrills from booty bumping...Nope, Jake does not like that...lol!

So we all went to Sugar Cafe lounge instead and polished off 3 bottles of Champagne. I'm beginning to think that these hotties are going to be the death of me...At least I'll die happy :)

Round One...

Round 2...

Round 3

Funniest line of the evening...

"Nice legs, what time do they open?" lol!

"Blame it on the A a a a a alcohol..." Was what Tanya and I were singing the following morning with our heads buzzing, our ears ringing, our bodies crying "Dear Jesus, Please help us get through the day!..." ha ha ha!

Saturday:

I went to my very first Persian wedding. Wow! I have never seen so much Dior, Prada, Gucci and Chanel on one person! ha ha ha!

When Snowball told me that Persian weddings are really fancy and women really go out of their way to look their best I had no idea what I was in for. I felt like I walked in to a movie premier. The ladies were all dressed to the nines. I've never felt so under dressed in my life. I'm normally the schmuck that overdresses, but not this time around. In a way it was kind of cool because I just blended into the background. A wallflower if you will and I enjoyed it. I was happily admiring all the ladies showing each other off. I can certainly appreciate the time and the effort that those ladies had put in to looking their best but not to be the party pooper or anything but I'd hate to be the one to steal the thunder from the bride!

Sunday:

Sunday was my last symphony concert for the season. It was more like chamber music, smaller in scale which was a nice change from a full orchestra. The composers featured for the evening was Schubert and Schumann. The program consisted of several Allegro pieces which I like very much.

Allegro: The musical tempo meaning quick, lively or, literally, "happy"

The next season starts again in the Fall. I am SOOOO looking forward to it. There's going to be some really amazing conductors and musicians alike that are coming to Davies Symphony. The Opera is going to be just as exciting (Valkyrie, Othello, Faust...Yeay!!!)

It's nice to get the summer off from the Symphony and the Opera though. It gets overwhelming at times especially when I have back to back shows such as the weekend that just passed.

After the concert, the usual suspects and I met up at my second home. Yup, the favorite wine bar. It was one of our guy friend's birthday. I met him late last year at the very same bar.

Story time:

We were at a bbq picnic once with a group of people and I was having a conversation with him while I was sitting on a blanket and him standing over me. I then asked him to sit down because he was making me nervous and he casually said.. "My pants are so tight, I can't sit down properly"....LMAO! He's European :)

Tanya was so excited to see us since it's been about 2 hours since we all saw each other last (a total exaggeration of course!) That she almost burned the place down!!!!

She walked in to the back room, set her coat down inadvertently "over" the candle that was sitting on the table. We all walked away to get ourselves another round. A few minutes later, Chris, the bartender casually asked, "Who tried to burn the place down?"

OMG! Heck and damnation!!! Not a moment too soon after the query, we all smelled the death of Tanya's coat :(

Luckily the "B" lives to burn down another day...whew!

Touch, move, inspire someone today...Smile,

Jakey

...And now back to your regularly scheduled programming

Half a dozen mosquito bites...5 pounds...dirty underwear...empty pocket...burnt skin...1,000 pictures later...

Yes bloggies, I'm back and as promised, with a vengeance. Ready to share my awesome experiences.

First stop the airport...

Ah, the smell of worldly travels, luggages old and new, the buzzing of people coming or going, this great chamber of modern engineering serves as portal to amazing places. I could step thru one door and be taken to Notting Hill and spend hours in the open market, haggling my way down the busy street on a Saturday morning.

Or I could walk into another hall and be transported to Klawock, Alaska where I can spend numerous hours swimming at the salmon ladder or going to the shooting range with my dad like I used to do back in high school. Or I could walk thru another random door in the airport, sound an alarm and be taken to jail, an entirely fantastic adventure in itself.

Airports are practically portals for time travel, important to history, humanity and Hudson News :)

My time travel took me back to the Philippines. My native country. Where it all started for me. How I came to be who I am today.

I settled into my chill pod for the next 13 hours, busted out the iPod on shuffle mode and lo and behold, Jason Mraz's "I'm Yours" came on. Perfect!

Why do I like this song so much? Because this song has nothing to do with romance though the title might lead you to believe otherwise. "I'm Yours" is actually a song about generosity, encouragement and letting go.

After take off, I browsed through the entertainment provided by Flights of Fancy. I watched 3 movies consecutively...


Bride Wars - unexpectedly funny and touching

Confessions of a Shopaholic - ditz trying to pass as an intellect and in the end....well, still ditzy

Valkyrie - I fell asleep towards the end but that's just it, we all know how it ends - the attempt failed and so did the movie...


Falling asleep, I then turned the music to my beloved Beethoven as he serenaded me to sleep for the duration of the flight. As the world turns, I turn with it.

Roughly at 500 miles an hour, 30,000 ft high, and 7,200 miles later my destination was reached.

Enter the photo journal...


May 17

Not so fresh and not so clean after 13 hours of sleeping
But I still manage to crack a smile just for a little more while



I was born Catholic. It's a given that if you were born into Catholicism, you are then a Catholic for life. You can be a lazy one or a non practicing one, heck even a CEO (Christmas & Easter Only) but the point is you will always be Catholic. It's not open to negotiation :) Growing up, we used to go to this one particular church where you can write letters of petitions to the patron saint of the church and supposedly, if your wishes came from good intentions and purest love, it will be granted. When I was 8 years old, I wrote a letter asking to be with my mom again. She was already living in the US while we were left behind with my grandma so we can finish school. A few short weeks later after the letter was signed, sealed, kissed and delivered my mom came home for a month long vacation. A coincidence? Perhaps, but I'd like to think that my letter has a lot to do with it.

Now I'm back writing my silent plead.

Wish in progress...



Later on that day, I paid a visit to my grandpa's resting place. I said my prayers, offered love, gratitude and appreciation. I still hold him close to my heart.

With my aunt and my uncle



My grandma is a funny creature. They say that as people get older they digress back to childhood. In so many ways, my grandma is the oldest kid I know. She's sweet, unassuming, accepting and one determined lady.

She met my grandpa back in 1938. They were neighbors in a college dormitory. She was only 17 at the time. They met, fell in love, she got pregnant, they never got married, she's Catholic and he was Protestant, he went off to war to fight the Japanese, they were apart for 7 years, he came back, looked for her, found her, had two more kids and finally got married after they had my mom...whew! Did you get all that? Talk about a modern day soap opera right! Having a kid while unmarried back then was unheard of, but my grandma being the determined and strong woman that she is fought for her love and held on until my grandpa came back for her. Now, that's a love story :)



With my cousin Joel. We used to get our butts whooped by our grandma for being so precocious. He taught me how to ride a bike. Three dresses later, a huge gash in my knee, bruises in both my arms, I learned :) He is now a father of 3 girls. All I can say is "Payback is a bitch!" ha ha ha!





~ I love you, a bushel and a peck, a bushel and a peck and a hug around the neck ~





May 18

What's a vacation without a little pampering? Head to toe :)



Finished product



So, Philippines is just like the US except with tropical weather and crazy big malls. This one mall is called Greenbelt and there's 5 sections to it. The choices of food, clothing, hang out spots are amazing. My head was spinning from all the options I had. There was no way in heck my "let's do it all" philosophy can work out here.



Ham and Cheese

May 19

I woke up at 3:30 in the morning the following day to get to the airport and head to paradise.







I didn't realize that the island of Boracay is located in Aklan which happens to be the birthplace of my grandpa. It was so cool to see where he was born and raised. I'm sure it's a lot different now than it was back when he was growing up but the fact that this was his home town made my heart grow fonder for this island.



The plane ride was a little rough. It was raining so we were constantly experiencing turbulence. The airport was tiny so when the plane landed the brakes were in extreme work mode. I felt nauseous afterwards. The rain was pouring down really hard. What a way to start a vacay right? In some culture, rain is considered a blessing. I have always been a troubadour who relied on signs and coincidences and on this particular day what I needed most was a sign. So bring on the rain...



Boat ride to the island of Boracay



After we got to the island the next form of transportation we had to take was the tricycle to take us to our hotel. Tricycles are pretty much the main source of mobility in the island since it's small and zippy enough to get you from point a to point b. The driver stopped half way to our resort to fill up on gas.


Gas station ...lol!



We finally got to our hotel, freshened up and explored...








I wish everyday could be...



I squish you...



Grotto





Nothing rhymes with Orange

Awe-inspired



Can you just imagine my amusement when I saw this store!

Lonely Planet (pop. 1) ha ha ha!



Current status: Swinger, Drinker, Life lover



Later on that evening we had dinner by the beach. Actually we might as well be in the water because of its close proximity to where we sat. It's so cool to be able to have dinner sitting on a bean bag, sand on my feet, music in the background, and people dancing. So awesome!

So Boracay is wholesome during the day and a giant party place at night. There are rows of bars and clubs playing all kinds of music, from reggae, alternative, hip-hop, electronica and even acoustic. The array of choices are aplenty. There's something for everyone here. There's never a dull moment.

NFF - new found friend at the club.



We finally stumbled back to our hotel at half past 2:00 with a perma-grin on my face. I love this place and I just got here...

May 20

She was at her weekly pampering mani-pedi session. The baby in her womb was due anytime now but not today she thought. I still have so much to do. I still need to get my hair done. The baby on the other hand already has a mind of its own and decided that today was going to be the day. Moments later, the mother's water broke and she was rushed to the hospital by her sister and her brother. The determined baby was already making it's way out into the world en route to the hospital. They finally arrived at the hospital and minutes later a little girl was born, weighing in at no more than 5lbs at around 2:00 in the afternoon. They named her Jake :)

Celebrating life

Scuba diving was the activity for the day. We each had our own master diver accompanying us. Marge and Zita had set the whole thing up the day before while I was asleep and still getting used to the time difference. I had the most amazing time swimming and feeding all the wonderful array of tropical fishes. I got to dive with Willy, the Owner/Dive Master. We were only supposed to be in the water no more than 40 mins but we actually stayed for 52 mins. After the dive, we were treated to a nice luncheon at his store.

First things first was the video to Discovering Scuba. We learned 5 basic skills and a couple of hand gestures.

Right before going in...

This is the international sign language of "Okay" for Scuba. Willy would often give me this sign under water to make sure that I'm equalizing every meter or so. A thumbs up means that you want to go up which was confusing at first. I found myself giving him the thumbs up and then waving my hands frantically in the water to convey that I meant "I'm Okay" instead...ha ha ha!

Post dive...

I got a henna tattoo of a butterfly. It took forever for it to dry since I was all sweaty from the heat. Two hours later while shopping, I had forgotten all about it and I felt an itch so I inadvertently scratched it! Aaaahhh! I had to go get it cleaned up, retouched and waited another 2 hours for the dang thing to dry...sigh!

Factoid:

Henna is a flower based dye. It is traditionally done to decorate the hands or feet of a bride. Depending on the type of the paste used it can last anywhere from 2 weeks to a month. I still have mine :)

Everyday at sundown when all the water activities are said and done, the restaurants would start to set up their tables out in the beach. Then a bunch of native kids would claim their spot on the beach and make this sand art design. Pretty neat huh!

That evening, we got all dolled up sat down for a nice meal. I got to pick my lobster and how I wanted it cooked. So cool!

Right beside where we were sitting was a sand castle made by a kid!

After our yummy meal, we started heading to our party spot and stopped for a photo opp with the fire dancers. I love Boracay!

First stop was the Chillout Bar. I got my birthday song and he threw in "I'm Yours" for good measure. Yeay!

Afterwards, I celebrated the night away by dancing my little heart out as I shouted a great big thanks to the Universe for making me another year older and none the wiser...well maybe a little wiser ;)

May 21

Woke up to the sound of torrential downpour outside our hotel room.

Please make it stop...

Luckily the rain finally stopped around noon and we were able to do our water activities for the day. We were off to our island hopping/snorkeling. Our guide gave us a tour around the island. The water was so beautiful and clear. I found myself sitting quietly most of the time to take in all the beauty that was surrounding me.

Crocodile Island - can you see it?

We got to our first snorkeling spot and along came this dude paddling his way towards us to sell ice cream. Yeay!

Feeding the fishies with a piece of bread

My favorite picture of all...

Ouch! We didn't realize how shallow some parts of the water were. We thought it was still magnified by 25% but obviously we miscalculated :(

Next stop...

Last stop was Puka Shell Beach

Shangrila Resort where Brangelina Jolie-Pitt supposedly stayed

For you boxing fans out there - this is Manny Pacquiao's resort in progress...

We got back to shore only to hop on the next speed boat to take us Parasailing...woo hoo!!!!

I loved every minute of it. From the exhilirating take off, to the fast landing. There's no feeling quite like it. It was peaceful. High up in the sky, I was able to put a lot into perspective. Looking down at the people on the boat below I thought about how I sometimes get so caught up in the trivialities and nuances of life that I fail to see the bigger picture. I am but a grain in the sand. A flake in the snow. A droplet in the rain. Outside of me is a world full of wonderful discoveries, people yet to meet, places still to go. I am but a small piece of the puzzle that contributes to the bigger picture. I am humbled. I'm Yours.

It was our last night in Boracay. I've already danced to my hearts content so we decided to take it easy and listened to local singers at the Chillout Bar.

His name is Marv and he has a really nice voice. His rendition of "Melt With You" is pretty cool.

We left the acoustic lounge close to 2:00 in the morning. As I walked away, Marv started singing the song "Free Falling" by Tom Petty. How fitting, I thought. I have free fallen in love with this place. Looking down at the footprints that I'm leaving on the sand, it too has left its prints in my heart.

May 22

Our last half a day but there's one more thing left to do...Jetskiing baby!!!

Last minute fun in the sun - working on our tan

Dude!

Our tricycle ride back to the pier

Boat ride to the other side

Another tricycle ride to get to the airport

And I'm off...

Meanwhile , back at the farm...

We got back to Manila and had a late lunch at this really nice and exclusive golf resort. Half of Marge's family are members of the club. I got to drive a golf cart for the first time. Mind you, the last thing I drove was a jet ski and a speed boat. So the golf cart ride was hilariously funny and fast!

May 23

We took a day trip outside of the city to the province of Tagaytay where the active Taal volcano is located. It was a nice drive once we got out of the city and into the province. The scenic view was breathtaking.

Taal Volcano: It was thought to be named as "a volcano inside a volcano" because many believed that the lake that circles the volcano was once a crater or mouth of a volcano.

We had lunch in really cool restaurant overlooking the volcano. I ate some really good seafood, serenaded and drank beer. Life is good.

One of my favorite things to do while traveling to different places is to visit churches. This province houses hundreds of churches, mission homes, monasteries, and convents. We visited a couple. Our first stop was the Pink Sisters Convent. Yes, I wrote another silent plead...

Then we visited another church that sits high up on the mountain. It's a wonderful church with beautifully kept grounds. It is the perfect union of God and nature.

Having become a thrillseeker in such a short period of time I thought it would be really cool to do the zipline down the mountain with the volcano as my peripheral view. So fun!

We got back to town and had dinner at the golf resort again and walked the greens this time around.

The man on the far end is the owner of the golf course.

My littlest warrior

May 25

My last day was spent with my family. Enjoying every minute I had left with them. Exchanging stories of childhood memories when I was such a little imp :)

I had the time of my life.

I am overwhelmed with emotions and I struggle to come up with anything good enough to say to express my deepest gratitude to my dear friends Marge and Zita. Thank you both so much for making this trip such a memorable and wonderful experience. I cherish both of you more than any of my words can ever convey. I am agape.

My view of the island from the plane

Afternoon after our dive. Drinking, relaxing, enjoying life...

Feeding the little fishies

Jetskiing

Steering the speed boat...so fun! Marge was like "to the left...wait to the right....aaahhh...you're other left...." LOL!

Zipline

Namaste,