The alarm went off at 6:00am Thursday morning. Disoriented, I reached over for my cell phone to turn off the all too familiar alarm ring tone that I've grown accustomed to Snoozing at least twice in any given morning. My mom got up and started getting ready for the day. I spent the night over at her place knowing that we wouldn't be able to see each other for too long since she had to work on Thanksgiving day. Tugboat started stirring but he is also used to my double snooze routine so he kept himself tucked close to my chest.
By 6:45 am, we were out the door and made our way to church to catch the first mass of the day. My step dad also joined us. Afterwards, we stopped for a quick breakfast and then made my way back home.
This year, I decided to do something different for Thanksgiving day. I didn't have the normal lunch or dinner. In fact, I didn't even have a proper meal at all. I just had nibbles of whatever was available wherever I found myself at the moment. I didn't make any solid plans. I just left everything up to chance. The only thing I really committed myself into doing was to volunteer for Meals On Wheels. Tanya, Dyah and I drove around the City for about 2 1/2 hours delivering hot meals to senior citizens' homes.
The morning started off really well. I gave my heartfelt gratitude to the Powers be. I got to spend time with my mom and my step dad, I got back to the City with ample of time to get ready and got to the volunteer site with time to spare. But nothing could have prepared me for the reality of what I had to do.
It hit me right after our first drop off. With a skip to my step, we walked up to William's apartment door. A quick tap on the door and he opened it. Then it all became so real. I'm dropping off a goody bag and a hot meal because he's all alone or he doesn't have a family nearby or other reasons which I'm pretty sure he would not want to share nor was I in the position to ask. We're only supposed to introduce, smile, deliver, give wishes and move on.
The drop-offs progressively got worst after the first. The neighborhood, the living situation and the people's condition got more depressing. The mood shifted and I moved downwards with it.
What I saw really bothered me because I wish that there was something more that I could have done for them. I wanted to reach out and give them a hug. I wanted to sit down, talk and listen to their stories. I wanted to let them know that even though I was a complete stranger that I care. I wanted them to feel loved, appreciated and most of all not alone.
I was deprived of my grandparents at a really young age. I only have my grandma left on my mom's side. When I saw her last, she told me stories of how her and my grandpa met, stories about my mom growing up and how she met my dad. I think that it's very important to know where you came from. It was amazing to hear the stories leading up to how I came to be where I am today. I believe that sometimes your past can serve as a compass to your future.
Yesterday's volunteer experience stirred a lot of emotion and I am moved to do more. I don't know what it is I'm going to do yet but my wheels are spinning, my heart aches and my will strong. I will make something happen.
Orientation
Right before our first drop off...
Deepest Gratitude,
Jakey
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