Christmas Day Hike-u

I woke up this morning a bit disoriented. My usual wake up call of soothing music from my iPod was replaced by the sound of Christmas music blasting from outside my bedroom door. My sister decided to turn up the cheer by playing Christmas carols. By the way, my all time favorite Christmas movie is "It's Christmas Time Again, Charlie Brown". I cannot get enough of the Peanuts gang singing - Christmas Time is Here...I heart it!

I slowly inched my foot to the edge of the bed and outside the cocoon that I had wrapped myself in through the night. Greeted by the chill in the air, I quickly tucked my feet under the blanket to allow myself the additional 5 minutes of solace as I contemplated on how I would want my day to be. Yes, each day I wake up and I give myself personal mantra's or daily affirmations if you will. This morning though was different. I couldn't come up with anything. Mental block. All I can come up with was to get my butt out of the bed, dress warm because I was going for a hike!

Fifteen minutes later, armed with my rain coat, thermals underneath my sweats, iPod, thermos and one determined spirit I was well on my way. About 25 minutes into my hike, the sky opened up and hail came pouring down. This is the first time I've ever been caught in this type of element before. One word, OUCH! The wind was blowing in all sorts of direction causing the little droplet of pellets to be more lethal. Though it felt like an eternity, it actually only lasted no more than 5 minutes. Afterwards the ominous clouds dissipated and revealed clear, blue sky. I reached the summit and the view was victorious. I felt renewed. My mantra came. Mother nature embraced me in her arm with the sun shining brightly down on me. She offered words of comfort that is much needed. Once again, I am at peace. The clamor in my mind was quited. The ache in my heart started healing. All is well. Everything will be okay.

After the torrential downpour

Hiking offers so much more than an exercise to me. It gives me the chance to reflect on what is and what's not important in my life. It allows me to do a mental check of where I'm at, what I'm feeling, why and how I can make it better. When I am out looking at the majestic view of the sky above with surrounding mountains around me, I am humbled. It helps me put things into perspective. The small, minute, trivial stuff that we pay so much attention to somehow looks so ridiculous and paltry.

Today, I am looking at a fork on the road. I have a decision to make. The road ahead is paved with uncertainties, there are many blind corners and sharp curves. The road to the right would be to take a chance, to either free fall into oblivion or to have someone meet me halfway and not go it alone. The other way is home, where I know I'll be safe in my own thoughts and in my own words. I know this way, I have gone through it many times over. A close friend of mine once told me that falling in love is like a trapeze act. You're on one side and you're beloved on the other end. You jump off the platform and start swinging their way. Hoping the whole time that they are swinging towards you as well to catch each other and free fall into love. Once in a while though you don't get caught but instead you fall down the safety net below. And all is well. You can stay for as long as you need to until you find the courage and the strength to get back up again and swing.

...I'm standing on the platform, my palms are sweaty, my breath shallow, beads of sweat forming on my forehead...

The new year is fast approaching and I welcome it with both arms flailing. I am excited to see what's in store for me. It's been at tough 2008. It's probably one of my most challenging year yet but I wouldn't change a thing. I have learned so much about myself, my limits, my capabilities and how much I surprise myself at times.

After my hike, I went home and enjoyed an afternoon with my family, without my dad. Long and complicated story that really deserves its own blog. I ate, drank, talked and was present for everyone. This morning's hike gave me the confidence that wherever I travel, at whatever expense and whoever it's with, I was doing exactly as I should; existing in harmony with everything and everyone else. I took a nap in the afternoon and saw Marley and Me in the evening. Yes, I was by myself but I'm never alone...

jakey